*pettyartist

Wow! There were so many letters that I had to make another page! :3!
And Abyss is just as grumpy as ever! XD!






10-1-2007

Dear Abby,

I'm telling! D:

- Hammah girl

..............

Dear Nane,

Do you honestly believe that it matters to myself?

Abyss


Dear Abby,

Intersting name I must say... 'Abby'. How appropriate!~

However, I will get straight to the point, as my time is limited here.

I would like a way out of this body, a temporary leave if you will. I'm sure you yourself know what it's like to share the same shell of flesh and blood with nothing but a mere mortal child, and while you SAY you are fine with it, I most certainly am NOT.

This being that I am currently held inside has not once given me the freedom of even the ability to eat, and if that isn't all, she is completely ignorant to my advice no matter how much I try to keep this blasted body of hers in decent condition!

Should you NOT constent, I am quite willing to make a deal with your brother first chance I get concerning a certain friend of yours... I'm sure you understand.

- Seathena

..........

Dear Seathena,

As you may recall, you were inprisoned in that amulet for specific crimes that you enacted upon this world. I am not about to help a convicted criminal, especially one of your calibur. As for your threats, if you should feel the need to threaten him again I shall be quite glad to oblige you in the ending of your own life.

Abyss

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10-1-2007

Dear Abby,

Lately I have been having this problem. Whenever I walk into a room to greet someone all that comes out of my mouth is a strange animal noise. For some reason I can't give a normal greeting anymore and I'm not sure why. I don't know what to do to make it stop. It is very embarassing for me because when I greet someone they just stare at me like I'm an idiot. Please help me stop sounding like an animal and more like a person!

Sincerely yours,
The animal noise maker

..............

Dear Animal Noise Maker,

There could be many reasons why you create animal noises when you open your mouth. Sadly, I am not a physician nor am I a psychologist. If I were you I should think it necessary to contact one of these two people and seek the proper treatment for your condition.

Abyss
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10-16-2007

Abyss -

Oh the neglect of it is very unfortunate. I suppose I should really kill Ziven now, but after the "pleasing" times that I have had I will yield the desire to kill him, for now. Pleasant isn't it?

Please, continue forward with your actions and destroy as many infidel lights as you can. But, you must do it wearing this.

...............

(The writing in this reply seems to be strained, as if the hand that was writing this was being forced onto the paper. There are many crossed out words and blotches of ink on the paper)

I have been complacent with all of your orders thus far. I ask that you refrain from treating Ziven in such a manner. As for your order, I find it to be highly unnecessary, and I wish to know your motive behind such a demand.

Abyss
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10-16-2007

Abyss -

My Motive? Ha!

None other than having you dress in a color that actually goes with your neon green - Hot pink. Tut-Tut, I thought you would have known!

[with this letter came a parcel including the dress made to fit Abyss to the T]

.........................

(The handwriting is even more forced, more blotches of ink are apparent on the page)

If........ that.... is.......... what you so........ desire.......

Abyss
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11-1-2007

Dear Abby-sweety,

Hi Abby-kins~! When are you gonna visit your dear aunt again? I haven't seen you in so long! I miss yoooooooou~o3o I made more lemon cake and some cup cakes also beef stew and chicken pot pie! Nummy! Also, you're unlce Mike misses weirding you out. Come visit sooooooooon!

Your loving aunt,

Nina~

PS: SNARK! :3

......................

Dear Christina,

I have told you multiple times that I am not your nephew, seeing as your sister, Melissa, is not my mother. However, that does not mean that I shall not visit you as you do so happen to prepare great food, though I can honestly say that your stew cannot compare to Ziven's (for it is the only dish he is able to create and he has perfected it superbly.). As for Micheal, he does not "weird me out" although I must admit he is rather odd. As for your P.S., I have no comment.

Abyss
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12-142007

Dear Abby,

So like I've got my keys, my breakdowns and my passings set, but whenever I press Play on my timeline my froggy knight goes through his obstacle course and stabs himself with the sword once he's pulled it from the stone. This is not the solution to world domination! A flaming munky told me you had the MEL scripting for Overlord Mode, so like I've got a couple dozen WoMD and a fresh loaf of that lemon stuff I swiped from your pantry (it had this cream cheese sauce that didn't really agree with me, so you can have it back.) So ja, gimme a call, annnnnd HELP MY FROG STOP COMMITTING SUICIDE!

Thanks, Abby hon!
Winna

..................................

Dear Winna,

It is quite obvious that your excessive ammount of time working on projects for your university has addled your brain as you seem to be spouting a sort of word salad at myself, though I would have to agree that stabbing oneself with a sword is not the way to go about anything in this world. Pertaining to the "flaming munky", I do not know what Dimas is talking about. He is most likely only telling you these things in the hopes that you would write to me and annoy me further. I must add that I would rather like it if you would NOT raid my pantry without my asking. It is rather annoying to reach in and discover your food has been stolen. I hope this shall not happen again. As for your suicidal frog, may I suggest counseling?

Abyss
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12-142007

Dear Abby,

It has come to my attention that there isn't enough cheesecake in this world. Therefore, you are the world's only hope in remedying this problem. You will, of course, be properly compensated.

The photographer will be along shortly. Make sure to grab extra lemon sauce.

Wanda Shankson
Editor, Questionable Confections

..........................

Dear Ms. Shankson,

I am afraid that I am much too busy to be bothered to make as many cheesecakes as you are implying that I make. I am only able to make a few due to a rather busy schedule. If you feel the world's "cheesecake level" is too low, why not place an alert in the magazine you edit? I am sure that you shall find many who would enjoy taking this task upon themselves.

Abyss
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12-142007

Dear Abby,

If you could take fifty eleven pound weasels, two of which had mumps, three of which had a tumor on their left... bag... and five of which had an orange marmalade walnut tree in their Aunt Ida's backyard and use them to pull a flaming stopwatch from the Statue of Liberty's nose...

Would you do that or eat sauerkraut?

Sincerely,
Curious in Cornville, Kansas

..............

Dear Curious,

Sauekraut is not as terrible as you are implying it is.

Abyss

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12-18-2007

And like-declarations result in a holiday, some mode of seasonal measurement vestigial to realms faring in light... based on yearly changes and thus not applicable...

I didn't get you anything for christmas


Oscuri

.....................

Dear Oscuri,

That is rather alright, seeing as I have neglected to give a gift to you as well. I hope you are doing well.

Abyss

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12-28-2007

You,

.......she got me something I really don't want. Don't tell her I'm re-gifting....or that I even talked to you, but I thought that you'd have a better use for them....and your.......well, I don't really want to think about it. It's bad enough trying to get such thoughts as that out of my head about my own son.

Eh, off subject, but my question is, will you be willing to take these damn buttless chaps off my hands and never speak of this again?

I know you don't hate me enough to actually make me keep them.

-Dark.

P.S. I mean it. Say nothing to Dagger. They...got burned by your sister...or something.

...................

Dear Dark,

......I am afraid I shall have to dispose of these. The last thing I desire is for my brothers to discover their presence in my possession. I do appreciate the idea of using myself as a repository for all of your undesired gifts. I shall be sure to give Dagger my regards the next chance we should cross paths.

Abyss

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2-25-2008

Dearest Abyss,

I have rather regretful news. It seems that someone gave Dark a gift that was not from me though it was addressed from me, but the idea that he gave them to you is quite dishearteneing. I had given him a dagger with a woman for the handle so that it could be his 'lady-dagger', but that seems to have gone missing. I must request that if he gives you any more of the gifts I supposedly gave to him, feel free to lance him.


Dagger

........

Dear Dagger,

I shall do so if necessary. I have told him that I do not appreciate being treated as a repository for unwanted items. I have not received a dagger as of late, though I would suspect he has either found a new being to thrust unwanted gifts upon or he has, in fact, truly lost the dagger. If he is giving away your gifts, however, I would seriously reconsider (if I were you) whether they are actually something he would enjoy or use. It has been said that it is the thought that counts, so if there is no thought the chances of the present being rejected are quite high... but I am sure you already knew this.

Abyss

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2-27-2008

You!,

Have you seen my new dagger? It's pretty nice, and has a picture of a woman on it, but the thing is.............

I think I may have dropped it around the chaps before I handed them off.

Look around, if you can't find them then whatever. If any of your siblings take it I'll have to go there and hunt them down myself for it. Don't let them get it!

also....you damn bastard told her about the chaps. Now I know they weren't from her but WHAT THE HELL?!

.....


-Dark.

......................................

Dear Dark,

I have not seen any such knife. Quite honestly, if you were foolish enough to make such a mistake, it should be your responsibility to find that which you lost. As for why I told her, she asked and I replied. I am not a repository for unwanted items.

Abyss
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2-27-2008

Dear Abby-kins *snerk*,

Seriously, that is the greatest nick name ever. Anyway, brother, I found this awesome knife in the house.

Why am I telling you this? Because...it was near some chaps. I'm pretty sure that means they're yours *snerk*

But let's not get into your personal life. I just wanted to know if the knife belonged to you before I take it. Let me know, thanks bro!

Your oh so cuddly brother,
-Majora.

.......................

Dear Majora,

I would rather you not call me any form of that nick-name my Creator gave me. As for the knife and chaps they are not mine. Do with them as you please.

Abyss

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2-27-2008

Dear Abby-face,

Yeah, me again. Um, remember before I got, you know, trapped in a mask and then killed, remember that....project I was working on that I would only show you and Dimas, and you were against it but Dimas found it hilarious? Well, that "project" seems to have up and walked away. It's not in the place I left it. You know the place. So um...have you seen it anywhere? It's not finished yet and I need to know where it went to. Would love it if you got anything. Thanks! Later bro!

-Majora

P.S. Don't feed it after midnight...*snerk*

..............

Dear Majora,

No but that would solve the mystery as to why my new ben linens were shredded upon my return. I shall be sure to dispose of the creature when I happen across it.

Abyss

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2-28-2008

Dear.....someone,

We have a confession to make. We liked your linens, so we wanted to borrow them. But we did not know that our claws would not agree with your linens.

We apologize for the mess. Our master told us you are displeased with us now and to make it up to you.

So with that, would you like us to take a soul in your name? Or shall we rather have an enemy disposed of? Or perhaps break someone's legs? Let us know.

-One known as Leijion

............


Dear Leijion,

I would rather you not.

Abyss

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3-20-2008

Dear Abby,

Seath told me that you know the answers to a llllooooooot of questions, so I tried writing this in my best writing ever! Ummm ummmm...

Oh yea! Seath wants us to go to Lake Hylia before the storm comes reaaaally badly, but I don't know why we can't just let it come and go like before. It's really confusing. D:

But since you know EVERYTHING you can tell me why! Thaaank-youuuu!~

- Tired Vacationer

..............

Dear Tired Vacationer,

As I am not interested in the weather patterns of areas I do not often visit, I cannot tell you why that is. You would have to divulge the information from her yourself.

Abyss

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4-16-2008

Dear, uh, Abby...,

Uh...hi, I don't know you and you don't know me, but Isolde told me that if I ask you somethin' you'd answer. It's weird writing to someone I don't know, you know? Especially if I had to deliver this letter. Imagine that, if I delivered the letter to you and you're like "Hey, a letter" and you open it and it's from the guy who just delivered your letter. Ha ha! But you wouldn't know it's from the guy who delivered the letter cause you wouldn't know the guy who delivered the letter was me, would you? Yeah...that'd be weird....Anyway, what was I gonna ask? Oh yeah. Um, see, there's this girl, I think Isolde said you know her, Natane, her sister, yeah. Well, she's...I don't really know how to say this...AMASING is a good word, yeah. She's so smart and shy and kind and beautiful and-

(there's a space here as if he's taking a long pause to think)

...that'd take a lot of wolfos....and butter...what was I talking about? Oh, anyways, yeah, I like her a lot and I go to visit her often, mostly to send her letters from Isolde, which is forbidden under sheikah law since Isolde's banished, but Nata really likes to talk to her. Do you think it's alright that I bring her the letters? I mean, they are sisters and should be able to stay in touch despite the stupid law, but I could get in a lot of trouble is someone finds out...Nata, too, and they have really harsh punishments in her clan...just thinking about it...jeez....Did you know Isolde once got put in a Deadhand's den for a punishment? She's really afraid of those things now. Like, REALLY afraid, like she freezes up and junk when she sees one.

....I probably shouldn't have told you that, it's really personal...she's probably gonna kill me now....I can't erase that, can I? Nope, I'm using a pen, damnit. Ok, just don't show her the letter or tell her I told you! I don't feel like writing this over...'cause, you know, my hand would start hurting and that'd be really annoying and...painful. Aw, jeez, my leg fell asleep....I hate that.

(another space)

...Ha! I just got that joke my bro told me yesterday! It's funny. I'd tell you, but I just forgot how it goes....Oh, right, my question. Yeah, how can I convince Isolde and my family that a Rito/human relationship between me and Nata can work? It's not that impossible! I mean, my uncle had a human wife!...I haven't seen them in a long time, they just kinda disappeared after the Honeymoon...Do you think that's weird? Anyway, that's what I wanted to ask you.

Uh...the guy you don't know,
Fennway the Mail Rito

P.S.: Who'se Xanth?! Natane's not really in love with him, is she?!

........................

Dear Fennway,

After sorting through the letter and deeming what was worth reading and what was not I have come to these conclusions:
As for your first question, it is a matter of your own ethics. Do you care enough for Natane to wish her not be hurt even if she may not be able to converse with her sister? Or is that of such great importance to her that you could not allow yourself to stop being their secret messenger?
As for the subject of cross-ratial relationships, it is frowned upon by most. If you believe that your love for her strong enough to be able to stand social persecution, I am not about to stop you.
Lastly, I would not know if the one you love is in love with someone else. I do not occupy myself with gossip.

Abyss

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6-20-2008


Dear Abby,

Well.. Dad told me you know things. (Didn't tell me how.. Just 'He KNOWS things'. Weird.) Anyways, recently I kiiinda ditched my Mom and everyone before they left to start some tournament (Great-Great-Grandpa really wanted me to see.. Something about 'One day doing this'. FUN.), cause..
... *there's a pause here, as if afraid to write something down*

Um. Yea, I didn't like the outfit.. (You know the gerudo right? Well, for some reason, this designer zora told Mom that armor wasn't 'In' anymore, and she started putting me in girl clothes! Aaah! )

Anyways, after getting to my dad, he told me I was just in time to come with him to see a tournament! Cool eh? Except.. We kinda got lost.. And.. Now I'm in some kinda dungeon.
...

Am I in trouble? I JUST got over the last punishment mom gave me... ||D

- Rayne

P.S. Please please PLEASE don't tell mom! D:

................

Dear Rayne,

Whether or not you are in trouble remains to be seen. It solely depends on what your parents believe is right and wrong for a child of your age. For now I would not focus on punishment but, rather, the location of your father and not becoming seperated from him. It is rather dangerous in this dungeon.

-Abyss

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6-28-2008


Dear Abyss,

Is it possible that a tome detailing the history of you and your tribe be delivered to the library in Hyrule Town? I would very much like to read about this. If such a book does not exist, would you mind recommending some further reading; a diary is fine.

Raki

.............

Dear Raki,

After having serched my desk for a magnifying lens, I am ready to answer your letter. On the subject of tomes, if such a volume exists, it has most likey fallen into the depths of time or has been reduced to a mere fairy tale. I am sad to say that most histories of the Zalmunnans (as well as the paladins)are rather ancient and, like most ancient texts, are outdated or exaggerated as such.
My reccomendations are that you focus your research on tribes such as the shadowkin or twili and follow the "paper trail" there. Perhaps you will find the information you are looking for.
One th subject of diaries, my siblings, as far as I know, do not keeps them. Oscuri may have a log of her own, but it would be rather incomprehensible to anyone who does not... understand her. I myself keep a journal, but I do not loan that out.

-Abyss

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6-28-2008

Dear big shadowey dude,

There was this woman you see, who had just arrived at her mother's funeral, and carried on like anyone would at such an event. The ceremony was dull until she met a man.

He was a WONDERFUL man, he shared the same interests and had a witty sense of humor, and he and the woman ended up talking the whole day away.

At the end of the service, they parted ways and the woman headed back home. Upon reaching her house, she realized that she never got the man's name or number, not even and e-mail.

She frantically searched for information on the man, asking every relative she could about him, but no one knew who she was talking about, much less how to find him.

Finally, the woman went and killed her sister.

Why did she kill her sister?

Yours truly,
Curious reader.

............

Dear Curious Reader,

As I enjoy a good riddle I shall be pleased to oblige you in the answer to this mystery. The answer is rather simple... the woman merely wished to see the man she had met. Believing he would surely come to her sister's funeral, she murdered her sister to see the man she loved again, as psychopathic as that may sound.

-Abyss



Send your very own letter to Abby! Just send a note to my account titled "Dear Abby" and I shall give it to him right away!~ :3